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The days between Christmas and New Years are known in the Swedish world as “Good Continuation”. Now that we are officially past New Year’s Day, I take the invitation to go lightly and move gently forward into the New Year.
Yesterday I was listening to a rehearsal of Bach’s In Dir ist Freude ( In Thee is Gladness or In You Is Joy), chorale prelude BMV615, composed as part of his Orgelbüchlein. Orgelbüchlein means “the little organ book” and was created to track the Lutheran liturgical year. It’s a set of chorale (hymn) preludes starting in Advent, advancing through Christmas all the way to Pentecost. There are also preludes that ponder non-seasonal aspects such as faith and belief.
Is what caught me off guard was the comment by the organist Doug saying that this particular prelude was composed specifically for New Year’s Day. Though I have sung the hymn many times and heard the prelude many times I had never connected it to the New Year.
This got me to thinking what Joy exist in me? So now I ask you, what joy exist in you?
We are so caught up oftentimes at this time of year thinking about the future, crafting goals, visions, aspirations. There is nothing wrong with that but in this season of deep winter I am more prone to be thinking about my state of being in this moment of now as opposed to what will unfold in the future. This has really been the case since the Covid-19 pandemic. My daughter Zaina and I had planned a most amazing year. The year of 2020 vision and all of our goals being met. Boy did we get that one wrong. So since the 2020 pandemic I have learned via my daily meditation practice to simply be present in this moment.
So what about that state of Joy, how do we be open and present to it?
Recently I watched the most wonderful documentary about the Dalai Lama and Bishop Desmond Tutu called Mission Joy: Finding Happiness in Troubled Times.
Several years back I also read their joint effort called The Book of Joy. Inside they give 8 pillars of Joy that help us live a connected and joyful life. 4 of the pillars are qualities of the heart and 4 of the pillars are qualities of the spirit.
“Give the world your love, your availability, your aura, but give also your joy. This too is an immense gift”. His Holiness the Dalai Lama
The 8 Pillars of Joy
photo by Kolby Milton
1. Perspective
Taking some space to view a situation from different angles makes us happier and less anxious. The Dalai Lama suggests that we look at each situation from at least 6 different view points so we can have a more complete view of reality. As we educate ourselves from various view points we will know which appropriate action to take. The same event can be both tragedy and opportunity depending from which direction you’re looking. Each moment brings to us a learning opportunity. By embracing the idea of perspective we can fully embrace this idea.
There is an old Chinese Fable which goes something like this:
Many years ago a wise peasant lived in China.
He had a son who was the apple of his eye. He also was the proud owner of a fine white stallion (horse) which everyone admired. One day his horse escaped from his grounds and disappeared. The villagers came to him one by one and said: “You are such an unlucky man. It is such bad luck that your horse escaped.” The peasant responded: “ Who knows. Maybe it’s bad, maybe it’s good.” The next day the stallion returned followed by 12 wild horses. The neighbours visited him again and congratulated him on his luck. Again, he just said: “Who knows. Maybe it’s good, maybe it’s bad.”
As it happened, the next day his son was attempting to train one of the wild horses when he fell down and broke his leg. Once more everyone came with their condolences: “It’s terrible.” Again, he replied: “Who knows. Maybe it’s good, maybe it’s bad.” A few days passed and his poor son was limping around the village with his broken leg, when the emperor’s army entered the village announcing that a war was starting and they were enrolling all the young men of the village. However, they left the peasant’s son since he had a broken leg. Everyone was extremely jealous of the peasant. They talked about his sheer good luck, while the old man just muttered: “Who knows. Maybe it’s good, maybe it’s bad.”
Shifting our perspective from “I” to “Us” reflects more the interconnection between us all. Speaking in community terms also leads to a healthier life. Want a long life, end egocentrism. People who use mostly “I”, “me”, and “my” throughout their days in through and conversation , usually die younger of a heart attack and suffer more from depression. The egocentrism effect is stronger than smoking, high cholesterol or hypertension.
Humans need to know that they are deeply connected. Perspective embraces this idea and deepens it.
2) Humility
The word humility comes from the latin word Humus. We all come from the same dirt and we will go back to it. At Mongata Healing Center, where I practice sound, breathwork, and movement, we always say that we don’t heal alone but in community. When we realize that we are similar to one another and that we are interconnected, it gently heals our solitude, loneliness, and anxiety.
Arrogance, on the other hand, comes insecurity and our need to feel superior to others. It’s actually a fear of being inferior to others.
By becoming aware, light hearted, and being able to laugh at our own limitations is a needed ingredient to experience our joy.
Each time you see someone say at the depth of your heart, “May I appreciate this individual in front of me”
3) Humor
photo by Mi Pham Unsplash
Have you ever laughed so hard that it felt like you were purged and cleansed? The fastest way to connecting two people is a good hearty laugh. When we laugh we are communicating that there is a trust there and there is no intention to belittle or offend the other.
When we can laugh at the sheer absurdity of our own prejudices and hate, we are able to fight our contempt, cruelty, and uncertainty for another or a group of people different from us. Different from us in race, culture, gender, sexual orientation, political party, religion etc.
Start by noticing the stupid and inept things we go through as a person and as people and find something to laugh about.
4) Acceptation
“Accept what you can’t change and change what you can’t accept”
Acceptation is about going with the flowing. When we go with the flow of life, it’s actually a sign that our spiritual life is elevated, or it can also being process, our spiritual life is elevating.
Acceptation is also an invitation and awareness to see the goodness in everything that happens. I often use the phrase of finding the good or beautiful in ugly. Even in the most awful circumstances or situations I have always been able to find one good thing, kindness, or something beautiful.
I have been in war zones where a family insisted that I have a piece of the only bread they had.
I’ve seen destruction from war and one beautiful flower is growing from the rubble.
Just a smile is an act of kindness and charity.
“The snow is falling, every flake in its right place”
Acceptation is a practice not unlike, meditation. It’s the ability to detach ourselves from the “goal” and our satisfaction of the outcome. Of course goals inspire us to grow and expand but it’s the thirst and drive for the goal that creates anxiety.
When we accept what happens to us, we are generally more curious, open, and trustful of the future. We simply go with the flow.
5) Forgiveness
Not only in the process of finding joy but in the process of healing, forgiveness is a required step. I explain forgiveness like this: Everything in this universe is made from energy. All of the situations and feelings we hold onto are also energy. When we hold onto our anger, sadness, frustrations etc, we are holding this energy in a finite container, our bodies and nervous system. When we forgive, we are releasing this energy. We are detaching the connection of their energy, and your energy. To take a step back to gain perspective. By disconnecting those energetic ties that bind, we can then choose how we want to reconnect. I practice forgiveness as an energetic exercise, not a mental one.
Whether someone apologizes, is held accountable for their bad actions is not the point of forgiveness. You can release the energy connection you hold between you so you are free. Whatever they have created for themselves by harming you, will always come back to them.
6) Gratitude
“Every morning, as you wake up, think of how lucky you are to be alive”.
Gratitude is a spiritual pleasure which consists in recognizing all that maintains us in the network of life and all that enabled us to lead the existence we are leading now.
“It is not happiness that makes us grateful, but gratitude that makes us happy”. David Steindl-Rast
Brother David Steindl-Rast OSB is known as the “grandfather of gratitude”. He has a beautiful website Grateful Living which provides a space to be grateful in as well as teaching us how to be grateful.
He says:
“As a way of life grounded in taking nothing for granted, Grateful Living brings deeper peace, greater well-being, and an enhanced capacity for joy to people all around the globe. As a moment-to-moment practice, it wakes us up to the opportunities always available to us, even in the most uncertain and challenging times.
Bring the gifts of gratitude to life, and in so doing become a force for healing in your life and in the world. Every moment is a present that will never present itself again, this is the promise offered by our own mortality. Gratitude signifies embracing reality. Embracing the positive side of every moment, joy and hardship that the universe throws at us. Reflecting on all that the people around us and before us brought to us is an exercise we can practice anywhere, anytime — with gratitude for our parents, teachers, inventors in the history of humanity, job providers, doctors, weavers of our clothes, bakers of our bread, builders of our homes, writers of our laws, creators of our art, pollinators of our flowers, regulators of our ecosystems… We have infinite things to be grateful for.”
In 5 easy steps we can embrace a life brimming with gratitude. The more we are thankful, the more we have to be thankful for.
Life is a gift. When you greet each moment gratefully. You are always receiving.
Everything is a surprise. When you open to wonder, opportunities abound.
The Ordinary is Extraordinary. When you take nothing for granted, life is abundant.
Appreciation is Generative. When you tend what you value, what you value thrives.
Love is Transformative. When you embrace the great fullness of life, your heart overflows.
7) Compassion
Compassion is what connects our sense of empathy into acts of kindness, and generosity. Simply by asking “How can I help you?” is an action that can transform pain into purpose. Compassion is contagious. When we witness someone being compassionate it elevates us and invites us to do the same.
In this compassion container is also room for us to practice self compassion. Meeting ourselves with kindness, acceptance, and love. We often times treat our friends better than ourselves. Self compassion is the reminder to treat ourselves just as a great and dear friend.
8) Generosity
Generosity is an extension of compassion. Neuroscience studies now show that generosity is one of the 4 fundamental neural circuits for long-term happiness. Generosity also boosts health and longevity.
Acts of generosity, big or small, always generate miracles of life. Generosity begets generosity and creates a circular flow of compassion and gratitude. Sharing is the true language of interdependence, and life invites us to be generous both in giving and in receiving. When we live out of a spirit of sharing, we come to know the full meaning of loving-kindness. Sharing is not to be thought of simply in material terms, for there is also the generosity of judgment, of patience, of forgiveness, of gentle presence.
In Buddhist teaching there are three forms of generosity:
The material gift
Freeing from fear (which can be offered by protection, advice, consolation)
Spiritual gift — transmitting wisdom, moral and ethical teachings, helping people towards more autonomy and happiness
In 2001 my parents retired and were called to create a soup kitchen in Oregon. Oregon, like many places in the world, was having a “hardship” time when the lumber industry crashed. Devoted Lutherans, they were inspired by the story from the Bible, the story of Elijah and the widow in the book of Kings:
After some time, however, the brook ran dry, because no rain had fallen in the land. So the Lord said to him (Elijah): ‘”Move on to Zarephath.” As he arrived at the entrance to the city, a widow was gathering sticks there; he called out to her: “Please bring me a small cupful of water to drink.” She left to get it, and he called out after her, “Please bring along a bit of bread.” “As the Lord, your God, live,” she answered, “I have nothing baked; there is only a handful of flour in my jar and a little oil in my jug. Just now I was collecting a couple of sticks, to go in and prepare something for myself and my son; when we have eaten it, we shall die.” “Do not be afraid,” Elijah said to her, “Go and do as you propose. But first make me a little cake and bring it to me. Then you can prepare something for yourself and your son. For the Lord says ‘The jar of flour shall not go empty, nor the jug of oil run dry, until the day when the Lord sends rain upon the earth’.” She left and did as Elijah had said. She was able to eat for a year, and he and her son as well. The jar of four did not go empty, nor the jug of oil run dry, as the Lord had foretold through Elijah. (I Kings 17.7-16, New American Bible)
My parents co-created a beautiful community within the community and it is still in existence. Now it is both a kitchen and pantry.
A few years later while I was living in Lebanon I actually got to see the original Zarephath Kitchen just south of Sidon. In 2005 it was a glass blowing house as it had been for many centuries. You can still see the slag pile left by the Romans.
Inviting all of us to create moments of deep joy in this new year. Below is a beautiful rendition of the song which inspired this newsletter/blog post.
In You Is Joy !!!
Transformational! Thank you!